Do You Say What You Mean?   By John Sheridan

Do You Say What You Mean?

It`s generally accepted that the majority of people learn to speak from a very early age, and on average a basic vocabulary is formed between the ages of four and six years old. As we get older our method of using language changes and we end up speaking in such a way that if everything we said was to be taken literally the effects could be amusing or tragic. With language, we know what we want to say; we often think we have said it; unfortunately, more often than not - we haven`t.

Some years ago, I worked in a taxi office taking bookings over the phone. You would assume that it would be simple enough to say, “Could I book a taxi please?`
Rule one - never assume!
Requests for taxis came as, `What`s your soonest taxi?` `When is your fastest taxi?` `How long is your next taxi?` `What`s your next taxi?`
Now obviously I knew they all meant they wanted to order a taxi - but that is not what they said. After a little while, I got to thinking what would happen if I answered their questions literally - so I did. The first of many similar conversations was as follows.

Customer. `How long is your next taxi?`
Me. “About 4 yards.”
Customer. `What?`
Me. `About 4 yards.`
Customer. “What the **** are you talking about?`
Me. `You asked me how long my next taxi would be and I told you about 4 yards`
Customer. `You knew what I meant`
Me. `Yes but I answered your actual question.`
Customer. ` **********!! ` Puts the phone down.
(I didn`t have a taxi available anyway!)

I find it fascinating that in all walks of life people use language the same way. They rarely say exactly what they mean clearly and concisely. This is everyone`s fault including my own because I`m occasionally as guilty as the next person for not saying what I mean, but we let it happen firstly because we know and understand what people are saying when they speak to us; secondly because we`ve got lazy.

Language has always been constantly changing and developing because that`s what language does; so who knows what extra fun you will be able to have with it in say five or ten years. In the meantime, try and bear one thing in mind - the next time you order a taxi, ask about the availability of one - and not its external measurements.

I Am A Proofreader Of Hard Copy Items And Website Copy. I Also Write Web Copy.